Monday, October 31, 2005

i dare a man to say i'm too young, for i'm gonna try for the sun.

i have dreams all the time now. i go to bed and sleep and wake up, all the while thinking about you. moments in between moments are all seared with your image, like when you stare at a light and then close your eyes and still see it, pulsing and rainbowy. i’m a half-naked zombie with groggy eyes peering out my doorway to see if you just woke up too. it’s a continuous, consuming cycle; even during those hours of unconsciousness it persists. and lately the dreams are nightmares. they eat me up more and more as time goes on, and my longing increases for something i thought i had forgotten. in these nightmares you’re with someone else instead of me. you touch her like you touch me, you’re showing me you don’t love me anymore. you’re making me know it. and i do. i do know it. so stop it, get out of my head. you can love someone else. just show me something that’s not a dream, or even something that’s not a nightmare.


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